Money Lesson

My sense of money is a bit off now. I don’t budget, don’t try to build up my credit, put my money into good investments, and/or make sure I ensure I get all my money that is owed to me. This hasn’t always been the case. I actually had a good sense of what I should do with money very early on, and this is a story that sums that up neatly.

This dirty blond kid/toddler, between three to four years old, is waiting for the lesson of the day in Preschool. He got into Preschool early, because of his disability at the time, sixty percent deaf, and one day he left his house and freaked out his mother half to death, all because he wanted to catch the bus to go to school. It was a public bus, not a school bus. This little dude is obviously me. That day’s lesson, money.

We were all given fake money to spend at the fake store they set up for us. There were about eight to ten kids in this class. The lesson I guess is to get used to things that have value, and you need money to buy them. I had a different lesson in mind for my peers and I intended to ensure each and everyone of them learned it well.

I started off by going to each kid and taking half of their money, because I was the bank. The last kid, a older boy wearing a baby blue polo, refused to hand his money over to me. I wasn’t having this, and he wasn’t going to get in my way of my lesson. I PUNCHED HIM, straight in the nose, took his money and proceeded to yell at him…

“YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THE GARBAGE CAN, BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE YOU WILL LIVE IF YOU DON’T SAVE YOUR MONEY!!!!”

If you were wondering, yes I got in trouble, and no I wasn’t able to buy anything from the store; but that did mean I saved 100% of all my money. 

My mom was mad at the school when she was called there to get me. But after the long ride back home, she just laughed her ass off. She thought it was something special that a small kid had more sense about money than most adults. 

I always loved this story, because it was the only time I purposely hit someone, outside of a planned fight for fun, and I had a true purpose to do so.