Am I Evil…
This thought just keeps popping up in my head. I can’t get rid of it. I know what I say shouldn’t be wrong. But it feels like it. How is asking questions, showing people what is going on, evil?
My dad told me that my ideas are vile, that there is overwhelming “proof” to disprove my points. Like what evidence? I have a whole community behind me backing me up, that has written countless amounts of articles proving my points. But my mother cries when we are at the dinner table. I have created so much tension, that she doesn’t even speak to me now. I don’t know what to do.
My dad began to beat me. I don’t give a fuck, I know they are wrong, they just can’t see it. I have to keep pushing, keep trying to make them know the truth. Maybe they will forgive me later? I don’t know…
What they see I am doing is immoral, and how they conduct themselves, what I think and say is immoral. It goes against everything that my family stands for. I hurt them badly, but I haven’t killed them. My words have been just within this house.
Maybe I should push these ideas further. It could destroy families, our entire community, but it is needed. What our community thinks and unconsciously does should be wrong, it should be evil, not ME!
Afterword…
I wanted to write something about how Evil could be blurred. This is just a feeler. To see if I want to write something more, a bigger story. What I wanted to do is confuse the reader. Was this person actually doing something evil? Were they a white supremistist in a progressive household or did they support LGBTQ rights in a very alt-right religious household. Evil is the act of doing something profoundly immoral and knowing they are doing it and continuing even if it hurts others; however morality is relative.
very interesting and how much of it is true, or taken from parts of your own childhood?
ReplyDeleteI like it and like you said it could be seen several different ways. You could be gay, or have fallen in love with a person of another race. I could easily fit several molds.
Nothing was taken from parts of my childhood. The closest thing would be me being an atheist amongst christians. Got told I was going to hell a lot, and had people stop talking to me. The most extreme was an owner at a BBQ place lecture me when he found out I didn't believe. He even started poking me in my chest. Was weird. But the main inspiration was a discussion I had with a friend about being evil. The definition we came up is doing something profoundly morally wrong and knowing they are doing it. But morality can be relative.
ReplyDelete